Maybe You're Not Lazy. Maybe You're Bloody Exhausted.

There is a particular kind of guilt that comes with being tired all the time.

Not “I stayed up too late watching Netflix and now I regret my life choices” tired.

I mean tired tired.

The kind where you wake up and somehow already need a nap.

Where the alarm goes off and your first thought is genuinely:

Surely this cannot be legal.

Where you stand in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil wondering how it’s possible to have accomplished absolutely nothing yet and already feel exhausted.

So you make the coffee.

Maybe another one at 10.

And because we’re adults with responsibilities and apparently nobody is coming to relieve us of our duties, we keep going.

Lunches.

Work.

Children.

Appointments.

Laundry.

Emails.

Dinner.

Study.

Housework.

Life admin.

The mysterious collection of drink bottles that apparently reproduces somewhere inside the house.

And through all of it, there’s often this little voice in the background:

Why can’t I just get my shit together?

Why am I so unmotivated?

Why does everyone else seem capable of doing so much more?

Maybe I’m lazy.

Maybe I’m just getting older.

Maybe this is motherhood.

Maybe I need to exercise more.

Maybe I need to exercise less.

Maybe I need magnesium.

Actually, Instagram says I probably need magnesium.

And electrolytes.

And creatine.

And a cortisol cocktail.

And possibly to stand barefoot facing east at sunrise.

Before you know it, you’ve spent $186 trying to fix yourself.

But you’re still exhausted.

Can we stop calling exhausted women lazy?

Because sometimes you don’t need more discipline.

You don’t need a better morning routine.

You don’t need to wake up at 5am.

You don’t need another motivational podcast telling you that Beyoncé also has 24 hours in her day.

Respectfully, Beyoncé and I have very different support systems.

Sometimes…

you’re just bloody exhausted.

And sometimes persistent fatigue is worth investigating.

Fatigue is a symptom, not a personality trait

This is something I wish more people understood.

Feeling persistently exhausted doesn’t automatically tell us why you’re exhausted.

Fatigue can have many contributing factors.

Sometimes it’s obvious.

You’ve got young children.

You’re studying.

You’re working.

You’re caring for somebody.

You’re going through a stressful period.

You’re sleeping terribly.

You’re simply trying to do too much.

But sometimes the reason isn’t immediately obvious.

And this is where I think curiosity is far more useful than judgement.

Instead of:

“What’s wrong with me?”

I prefer:

“What could be contributing to this?”

That one change in language opens up an entirely different conversation.

If You Were Sitting Across From Me…

If you came into my clinic and said:

“Sarah, I’m exhausted all the time.”

I wouldn’t immediately hand you an energy supplement.

I’d probably start asking you a mildly ridiculous number of questions.

Not because I’m nosy.

Well… perhaps naturopaths are professionally nosy.

But because fatigue doesn’t exist in isolation.

I’d want to know:

When did it start?

Was the onset gradual or sudden?

Do you wake refreshed?

Can you fall asleep?

Do you stay asleep?

Do you snore?

Do you wake with headaches?

Do you crash at a particular time of day?

How heavy are your periods?

Has your menstrual cycle changed?

What’s your appetite like?

Are you eating enough?

What does protein intake look like?

Are you vegetarian or vegan?

Any digestive changes?

Any unexplained weight change?

Do you feel unusually cold?

Any changes to your hair or skin?

Breathlessness?

Heart palpitations?

Dizziness?

Brain fog?

Pins and needles?

Headaches?

Pain?

Recent illness?

New medications?

Supplements?

How much caffeine are you relying on?

What’s happening emotionally?

What’s your workload like?

How much are you carrying that nobody else can see?

Because each answer adds another little piece to the clinical picture.

And sometimes the pattern starts becoming clearer.

Iron: one of the first conversations worth having

Iron deserves a proper conversation when we’re talking about fatigue, particularly for menstruating women.

Iron is required for important processes in the body, including haemoglobin production and oxygen transport.

When iron stores become low, fatigue can be one of the things people notice.

But potentially relevant symptoms can extend beyond simply feeling tired.

Depending on the individual and the severity, things such as reduced exercise tolerance, weakness, dizziness, headaches, palpitations, breathlessness, difficulty concentrating or restless legs may warrant further discussion with a healthcare professional.

And here’s something important:

Don’t assume you’re iron deficient just because you’re tired.

And equally:

Don’t start taking high-dose iron indefinitely because TikTok told you to.

Iron isn’t a harmless little wellness accessory.

Too little can be a problem.

Too much can also be a problem.

And if iron deficiency is identified, understanding why matters too.

For someone who menstruates, heavy menstrual bleeding may be relevant.

Dietary intake can matter.

Absorption can matter.

Pregnancy can change requirements.

Gastrointestinal blood loss and other medical causes may also need consideration.

That’s why investigation matters more than guessing.

Depending on your circumstances, your GP or healthcare practitioner may consider blood tests such as a full blood count and iron studies, alongside other investigations appropriate to your history and symptoms.

It’s not simply:

Tired → take iron.

It’s:

Tired → ask better questions.

What about B12 and folate?

Vitamin B12 and folate are another part of the conversation because they’re involved in processes including red blood cell formation.

B12 is also important for normal neurological function.

Low B12 status can occur for different reasons, including inadequate intake in some dietary patterns, impaired absorption, certain gastrointestinal conditions and some medications.

And again, fatigue isn’t specific enough to diagnose any of this yourself.

That’s the frustrating thing about symptoms.

One symptom can belong to many different stories.

Brain fog doesn’t automatically mean B12 deficiency.

Fatigue doesn’t automatically mean iron deficiency.

Feeling cold doesn’t automatically mean thyroid dysfunction.

This is why good healthcare isn’t a game of symptom bingo.

We look at the whole picture.

“Maybe it’s my thyroid?”

The thyroid is another common concern people raise when they’re experiencing persistent fatigue.

And yes, thyroid function can influence energy, metabolism and many physiological processes.

Depending on the individual, changes in thyroid function may be associated with symptoms involving energy, temperature tolerance, bowel habits, weight, menstrual cycles, mood, skin or hair.

But — and this is important —

those symptoms overlap with many other things.

So a social media checklist titled:

7 SIGNS YOUR THYROID IS DESTROYED

is not a diagnosis.

Please don’t let an algorithm convince you that your body has catastrophically failed before you’ve even spoken to a healthcare professional.

If your symptoms and history suggest thyroid investigation may be appropriate, that’s a conversation worth having with your GP or practitioner.

Sometimes the most useful thing we can do in natural medicine is not prescribe something.

It’s recognise:

“This deserves proper investigation.”

But Sarah… my blood tests were “normal”

I hear versions of this a lot.

And this conversation requires nuance.

Because I don’t believe in telling someone:

“Your doctor is wrong. Your results aren’t actually normal.”

That’s irresponsible.

Reference ranges exist for a reason, and pathology should be interpreted in appropriate clinical context.

But pathology is also one part of a clinical picture.

If someone continues to experience significant fatigue despite initial investigations being reassuring, the answer doesn’t have to be:

Well, everything’s normal, so I suppose I’ll just feel like a potato forever.

Persistent symptoms can justify going back to your healthcare professional.

Symptoms can change.

Further history may reveal something important.

Different investigations may be appropriate depending on the person.

And sometimes the explanation isn’t found in a single blood marker at all.

That’s medicine.

Human beings are annoyingly more complicated than spreadsheets.

We also need to talk about food

I say this with enormous compassion because wellness culture has made nutrition unnecessarily confusing.

Sometimes people are trying incredibly hard to “eat healthy”…

…and they’re simply not eating enough.

Coffee for breakfast.

A salad at lunch.

Something small for dinner.

Trying not to snack.

Cutting carbohydrates.

Avoiding fats.

Skipping meals because life is chaotic.

And then wondering why their body isn’t exactly overflowing with energy.

Food isn’t a moral achievement.

It’s fuel.

It’s protein.

Carbohydrates.

Fats.

Vitamins.

Minerals.

Fibre.

Energy.

Pleasure.

Culture.

Connection.

Your body has physiological work to perform every second of every day.

Keeping your heart beating is work.

Breathing is work.

Maintaining body temperature is work.

Thinking is work.

Digestion is work.

Repair is work.

Parenting while somebody asks you where their shoes are despite the shoes being directly in front of them is also work.

Your body requires nourishment.

This doesn’t mean every tired person simply needs to eat more.

It means adequate nutrition deserves a seat at the table when we’re investigating energy.

And then there’s sleep

This seems obvious.

But being in bed for eight hours isn’t necessarily the same thing as getting eight hours of restorative sleep.

Sleep quality matters.

Repeated waking matters.

Pain matters.

Children waking you matters.

Alcohol can affect sleep.

Caffeine can affect sleep.

Stress can affect sleep.

Some medications can affect sleep.

Snoring and sleep-disordered breathing can matter.

Restless legs can matter.

Your environment can matter.

And sometimes people don’t even realise how fragmented their sleep has become because poor sleep has slowly become their normal.

So when somebody tells me they’re exhausted, I’m not only interested in:

“What time do you go to bed?”

I’m interested in:

“What actually happens between going to bed and waking up?”

Stress counts, even when you’re coping

This one is enormous.

People often tell me:

“I’m not really stressed.”

And then describe a life involving children, work, relationship difficulties, caring responsibilities, financial pressure, health concerns, study, broken sleep, family conflict and approximately nine minutes a week alone.

My love.

That counts.

You don’t need to be crying on the bathroom floor for your life to be demanding.

Sometimes stress doesn’t feel like panic.

Sometimes it looks like:

“I’m fine.”

“I’ll do it.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”

“I’ll sort it out.”

Over.

And over.

And over again.

The mental load counts too.

Remembering appointments.

Medications.

School things.

Birthdays.

Forms.

Groceries.

Meals.

Who’s upset with whom.

Who needs new shoes.

Who needs a dentist appointment.

Whether the washing machine has finished.

Whether you replied to that email.

Whether the chicken was taken out of the freezer.

It might not appear on a blood test.

But it is still part of your health story.

Sometimes the answer isn’t another supplement

I love herbal medicine.

I love nutritional medicine.

I’ve dedicated an enormous amount of my life to learning about the human body and natural medicine.

But sometimes the most naturopathic thing I can do is not give you fourteen supplements.

Because if you’re sleeping five hours a night, skipping lunch, running on caffeine and carrying the emotional administration of an entire household…

I don’t want to convince you that a capsule will magically make that sustainable.

It might be appropriate to support nutritional status.

Herbal medicine may have an appropriate place.

But supplements cannot create hours in your day.

And herbs cannot negotiate your boundaries for you.

Sometimes part of supporting health means looking at the life the body is trying to survive inside.

That’s holistic medicine to me.

Not abandoning physiology for something vague and mystical.

Expanding the picture.

When fatigue deserves medical investigation

There is a difference between feeling understandably tired after a demanding week and experiencing fatigue that is persistent, unexplained, worsening or significantly affecting your daily functioning.

If you’re experiencing ongoing fatigue that isn’t improving, it’s worth discussing with your GP or appropriately qualified healthcare professional rather than repeatedly self-treating.

And there are circumstances where you shouldn’t wait for a wellness appointment.

Seek prompt medical advice if fatigue occurs alongside concerning symptoms such as significant unexplained weight loss, unusual or persistent bleeding, significant breathlessness, fainting, chest pain, new neurological symptoms, persistent fever, severe weakness or another sudden or significant change in your health.

If something feels acutely or seriously wrong, seek urgent medical care.

Natural medicine and conventional medicine do not need to compete with each other.

Sometimes your naturopath can support you.

Sometimes you need your GP.

Sometimes you need pathology.

Sometimes you need a specialist.

Sometimes you need several people working together.

Good healthcare should care more about getting you the appropriate help than about who gets credit for helping you.

And please stop using your productivity as proof of your worth

This might be the most important part.

Because maybe your pathology does come back fine.

Maybe nothing sinister is happening.

Maybe your body is simply telling the truth about the life you’re living.

You’re tired.

Not lazy.

Not weak.

Not undisciplined.

Not failing at adulthood.

Tired.

We have somehow created a culture where exhaustion has become a badge of honour while rest has become something we’re expected to earn.

We celebrate:

“I only slept four hours.”

“I haven’t stopped all day.”

“I worked through lunch.”

“I don’t have time to rest.”

And then wonder why everybody feels like shit.

You don’t have to completely deplete yourself before you’re allowed to slow down.

Something I’ve had to learn myself

My relationship with energy changed enormously when my own body stopped cooperating with the plans I had for it.

Living with chronic pain taught me very quickly that determination doesn’t override physiology.

I could be motivated.

I could have a list.

I could have responsibilities.

I could really, really want my body to cooperate.

And sometimes it simply couldn’t.

That was difficult for me.

Because I had spent years believing that if I just tried harder, researched more, organised myself better or pushed through, I could somehow control the outcome.

I couldn’t.

My body forced me to learn something my mind resisted for a very long time:

Rest isn’t failure.

And listening to your body isn’t weakness.

Sometimes it is one of the most intelligent things you can do.

That doesn’t mean assuming every sensation has a serious medical explanation.

It means noticing patterns.

Getting curious.

Seeking appropriate help.

And refusing to shame yourself for experiencing something your body may be trying very hard to communicate.

Before you call yourself lazy…

Ask yourself:

When did this start?

Am I actually sleeping well?

Am I eating enough to support the life I’m living?

Has my menstrual bleeding changed or become particularly heavy?

Have I had relevant health investigations recently?

Have there been changes in my digestion, weight, temperature tolerance, mood, hair, skin or cycle?

Am I taking medications or supplements that deserve review?

Have I been unwell recently?

How much caffeine am I using just to feel functional?

How much invisible emotional and mental work am I carrying?

When was the last time I genuinely rested without feeling guilty about it?

And perhaps:

Would I speak to somebody I love the way I’m speaking to myself right now?

Because I suspect you wouldn’t look at your exhausted best friend and say:

“God, you’re lazy.”

You’d probably say:

“Mate. You’re absolutely wrecked. What’s going on?”

Maybe you deserve the same kindness.

If You Were Sitting Across From Me…

I wouldn’t promise you that I could “fix your fatigue.”

I wouldn’t diagnose you from one symptom.

And I wouldn’t assume you need a cupboard full of supplements.

I’d listen.

We’d build a timeline.

We’d look at sleep.

Food.

Stress.

Menstrual and reproductive history where relevant.

Digestion.

Pain.

Medications.

Supplements.

Existing pathology.

Your health history.

Your day-to-day life.

We’d look for patterns.

Where appropriate, we could discuss whether further investigation with your GP or other healthcare professional may be warranted.

And then we’d decide what actually makes sense for you.

Because naturopathy, to me, isn’t about throwing natural remedies at symptoms.

It’s about asking better questions.

Using evidence.

Respecting scope.

Understanding physiology.

Looking at the whole person.

And remembering that the human sitting in front of me has a life happening outside the consultation room.

So if you’ve spent the last few months wondering why you can’t seem to push yourself the way you used to…

Maybe stop pushing for a moment.

Not because every case of fatigue means something is wrong.

But because persistent fatigue deserves curiosity before criticism.

You might need sleep.

You might need nourishment.

You might need support.

You might need boundaries.

You might need appropriate pathology or medical investigation.

You might need several of those things.

But perhaps the first thing you need is permission to stop treating exhaustion like a character flaw.

Maybe you’re not lazy.

Maybe you’re bloody exhausted.

And maybe your body deserves to be listened to before you make another coffee and tell it to shut up.

Sarah 🤍
Wild Wellness

This journal entry is general educational information and is not intended to diagnose or treat any health condition or replace individual medical advice. Persistent, unexplained or worsening fatigue should be discussed with your GP or appropriately qualified healthcare professional. Seek urgent medical care for severe or concerning symptoms.